McDonalds milkshake or Mr Whippy?

[tacit]

A phone conversation:

Me: Ok, so I've got a labrador puppy, and he's eaten a bag of flour. His stomach's really distended, does he need to come in?
Vet: ...Is it Dex?
Me: Oh my God.
Vet: *Laughs*
Me: Do no other dogs in this town do this shit?
Vet: Not quite so regularly...
Me: It's all over him, too. And it's turned to glue on his fur.
Vet: *snickers* Is he going for the whole Christmas cake ingredients list?
Me: (Considering question: Butter? check. Flour? check. Dried fruit? check. It's just sugar and booze left.) I'm saving the brandy for myself.
Vet: *derailed by mirth*
Me: So, should I bring him in?
Vet: Depends. Plain or self raising?

Because obviously self raising flour is gassier. I did take him in, and he is going to be fine, just a big belly ache. We had a discussion of diarrhoea that was disturbing, because our consistency reference points all involved foodstuffs I had previously found appetising.

On the up side, I love my vets.

Which is just as well.

Comments

[tacittype.livejournal.com]

I know! Poor little pup. Apparently his 'my belly hurts!!' pose is to lie on his back, distended stomach to the ceiling and his legs as starfished as doggy legs can go. Which is vertical and relaxed for his forelegs, roast-chicken-flat for the hind. I do think it's unbearably cute, but subdued!Dex is unsettling. :/

I wish I could say he's learnt from this experience, but.... no.

My lodger on the other hand, has learnt what my wrath looks like, and will not be 'tidying' things from a sensible place to a dumb place ever again.