McDonalds milkshake or Mr Whippy?

[tacit]

A phone conversation:

Me: Ok, so I've got a labrador puppy, and he's eaten a bag of flour. His stomach's really distended, does he need to come in?
Vet: ...Is it Dex?
Me: Oh my God.
Vet: *Laughs*
Me: Do no other dogs in this town do this shit?
Vet: Not quite so regularly...
Me: It's all over him, too. And it's turned to glue on his fur.
Vet: *snickers* Is he going for the whole Christmas cake ingredients list?
Me: (Considering question: Butter? check. Flour? check. Dried fruit? check. It's just sugar and booze left.) I'm saving the brandy for myself.
Vet: *derailed by mirth*
Me: So, should I bring him in?
Vet: Depends. Plain or self raising?

Because obviously self raising flour is gassier. I did take him in, and he is going to be fine, just a big belly ache. We had a discussion of diarrhoea that was disturbing, because our consistency reference points all involved foodstuffs I had previously found appetising.

On the up side, I love my vets.

Which is just as well.

Comments

[beadattitude.livejournal.com]

::howls with laughter::

I have to warn you, I was once at the vet with my cat who had swallowed eighteen inches of nylon-coated steel beading wire and there was a golden lab sitting there guiltily and the nurse said, "Again? What did he eat this time?"

Owner, glumly: Gardening gloves.
Nurse: Both them them?
Owner, even more glumly: Might be two pair.
Nurse, looking at dog with exasperated affection:: Riley.
Dog: ::still looks guilty, wags tail a little and clearly indicates It was just a snack::

My Goldberry, meowing pitifully: That's what *I* said!

[tacittype.livejournal.com]

Eighteen inches of... blimey. That sounds unpleasant! So far Dex's unauthorised snacks have all been edible (although I am missing two small aluminium reindeer from a christmas decoration...?) and digestion has worked its dubious magic. I can hear his stomach right now, on the other side of the room from me.

But yes, I keep snickering. My dog is that dog. The one that gets greeted with 'what the hell happened to him?!' on a semi-regular basis. The clutzy one who charges along chasing the elegant, gazelle-like dogs with his legs flailing about in three dimesions. He's special. ♥

[naye]

*laughs and laughs*

Oh, Dex. You have a very special puppy indeed! ♥

[tacittype.livejournal.com]

I know! Poor little pup. Apparently his 'my belly hurts!!' pose is to lie on his back, distended stomach to the ceiling and his legs as starfished as doggy legs can go. Which is vertical and relaxed for his forelegs, roast-chicken-flat for the hind. I do think it's unbearably cute, but subdued!Dex is unsettling. :/

I wish I could say he's learnt from this experience, but.... no.

My lodger on the other hand, has learnt what my wrath looks like, and will not be 'tidying' things from a sensible place to a dumb place ever again.

[dodificus.livejournal.com]

OMG! You should be dating your vet!

[tacittype.livejournal.com]

It's true! I have decided that vets are highly eligible! These ones are all girls, but I still asked if I could go volunteer there a few hours a weeks - I need new friends, too. They don't need anyone, cos they don't keep animals over night there. But I am vaguely considering asking elsewhere.

Huh. It's possible you're joking. I'M NOT! Vets = fabulous.