tacit

A phone conversation:

Me: Ok, so I've got a labrador puppy, and he's eaten a bag of flour. His stomach's really distended, does he need to come in?
Vet: ...Is it Dex?
Me: Oh my God.
Vet: *Laughs*
Me: Do no other dogs in this town do this shit?
Vet: Not quite so regularly...
Me: It's all over him, too. And it's turned to glue on his fur.
Vet: *snickers* Is he going for the whole Christmas cake ingredients list?
Me: (Considering question: Butter? check. Flour? check. Dried fruit? check. It's just sugar and booze left.) I'm saving the brandy for myself.
Vet: *derailed by mirth*
Me: So, should I bring him in?
Vet: Depends. Plain or self raising?

Because obviously self raising flour is gassier. I did take him in, and he is going to be fine, just a big belly ache. We had a discussion of diarrhoea that was disturbing, because our consistency reference points all involved foodstuffs I had previously found appetising.

On the up side, I love my vets.

Which is just as well.