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McDonalds milkshake or Mr Whippy?
A phone conversation:
Me: Ok, so I've got a labrador puppy, and he's eaten a bag of flour. His stomach's really distended, does he need to come in?
Vet: ...Is it Dex?
Me: Oh my God.
Vet: *Laughs*
Me: Do no other dogs in this town do this shit?
Vet: Not quite so regularly...
Me: It's all over him, too. And it's turned to glue on his fur.
Vet: *snickers* Is he going for the whole Christmas cake ingredients list?
Me: (Considering question: Butter? check. Flour? check. Dried fruit? check. It's just sugar and booze left.) I'm saving the brandy for myself.
Vet: *derailed by mirth*
Me: So, should I bring him in?
Vet: Depends. Plain or self raising?
Because obviously self raising flour is gassier. I did take him in, and he is going to be fine, just a big belly ache. We had a discussion of diarrhoea that was disturbing, because our consistency reference points all involved foodstuffs I had previously found appetising.
On the up side, I love my vets.
Which is just as well.
Me: Ok, so I've got a labrador puppy, and he's eaten a bag of flour. His stomach's really distended, does he need to come in?
Vet: ...Is it Dex?
Me: Oh my God.
Vet: *Laughs*
Me: Do no other dogs in this town do this shit?
Vet: Not quite so regularly...
Me: It's all over him, too. And it's turned to glue on his fur.
Vet: *snickers* Is he going for the whole Christmas cake ingredients list?
Me: (Considering question: Butter? check. Flour? check. Dried fruit? check. It's just sugar and booze left.) I'm saving the brandy for myself.
Vet: *derailed by mirth*
Me: So, should I bring him in?
Vet: Depends. Plain or self raising?
Because obviously self raising flour is gassier. I did take him in, and he is going to be fine, just a big belly ache. We had a discussion of diarrhoea that was disturbing, because our consistency reference points all involved foodstuffs I had previously found appetising.
On the up side, I love my vets.
Which is just as well.
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I have to warn you, I was once at the vet with my cat who had swallowed eighteen inches of nylon-coated steel beading wire and there was a golden lab sitting there guiltily and the nurse said, "Again? What did he eat this time?"
Owner, glumly: Gardening gloves.
Nurse: Both them them?
Owner, even more glumly: Might be two pair.
Nurse, looking at dog with exasperated affection:: Riley.
Dog: ::still looks guilty, wags tail a little and clearly indicates It was just a snack::
My Goldberry, meowing pitifully: That's what *I* said!
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Oh, Dex. You have a very special puppy indeed! ♥
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