How has Hollywood failed you?

[tacit]

Guys, I am seriously considering writing an airport rom-com novel. But... you know, a cynical one.

I've been mulling it over for a week or two, and have written down snatches that interrupted my attempts to sleep. I've spent the last couple of hours plotting it out. If I do this, it won't be autobiographical per se, but... given all the awful dates I've been on, the short-lived relationships I've had, and all the emails I've had from match.com, I've practically written it already. The premise would be how we all grow up expecting to find The One at the appropriate time and live happily ever after - I know, not really a novel novel idea, but bear with me. How, Hollywood would have us believe that nobody ever gets a cramp during sex, or is struck by mundane thoughts when they're supposed to be in the throes of passion. Occasionally, there are Mishaps With Jizz. You either like, fancy or respect a guy - but almost never all three. People get poked in uncomfortable places. Snogging gets tedious. Dating is not always fun; sex is not always good. You lose touch with attractive men because of scheduling conflicts. Some people never fall in love.

Here's what I want to know. What have you grown up to be disappointed with? What did Hollywood promise you? I'm at the brainstorming stage. Silly, serious... anything and everything welcome.

ETA: And, if you have any chronically single people on your flist (besides me), maybe you could point them over to here? Thanks!

Comments

[tacittype.livejournal.com]

Yes! Seriously, that one's a stinker. I think I was 22 or 23 before I realised it didn't work that way - by which point all the good ones were taken. Of course, pre 22/23 I was still a fucktard in many and various ways, so it might not have made a difference. But, still! Fucking Hollywood.

Also, Hollywood had me half-convinced that I could go out into the world on dates in a shitty mood and expect the guys to simultaneously brighten my week and fall for me. But no. Sadly untrue.

This should be your title, yes?

You know, I've just gone and changed the working title. Because yes. YES IT SHOULD. (For now, at least.)

[dodificus.livejournal.com]

You know, I've just gone and changed the working title. Because yes. YES IT SHOULD.

\o/ No matter what you end up calling it, this is how I'll always think of it:)