How has Hollywood failed you?

[tacit]

Guys, I am seriously considering writing an airport rom-com novel. But... you know, a cynical one.

I've been mulling it over for a week or two, and have written down snatches that interrupted my attempts to sleep. I've spent the last couple of hours plotting it out. If I do this, it won't be autobiographical per se, but... given all the awful dates I've been on, the short-lived relationships I've had, and all the emails I've had from match.com, I've practically written it already. The premise would be how we all grow up expecting to find The One at the appropriate time and live happily ever after - I know, not really a novel novel idea, but bear with me. How, Hollywood would have us believe that nobody ever gets a cramp during sex, or is struck by mundane thoughts when they're supposed to be in the throes of passion. Occasionally, there are Mishaps With Jizz. You either like, fancy or respect a guy - but almost never all three. People get poked in uncomfortable places. Snogging gets tedious. Dating is not always fun; sex is not always good. You lose touch with attractive men because of scheduling conflicts. Some people never fall in love.

Here's what I want to know. What have you grown up to be disappointed with? What did Hollywood promise you? I'm at the brainstorming stage. Silly, serious... anything and everything welcome.

ETA: And, if you have any chronically single people on your flist (besides me), maybe you could point them over to here? Thanks!

Comments

[deltacephei.livejournal.com]

I like the idea. Cynical! And written by you! I'd buy it. I want to buy it. Hell, I want to beta it :-)
Though I'm pretty sure that a lot of my Hollywood-induced dreams were shattered, I can't pinpoint anything down except, you know, what you said? (I suspect I might need a shrink for further investigation.) Er, and you might have depressed me here. A little.

[tacittype.livejournal.com]

Sorry! Here, have a cute puppy. (Reading the post back has actually kind of depressed me.) :) I'd tell you I'd write a happy ending... but I think that would rather defeat the point of the story. I do plan for it to not be depressing though, as that would rather defeat the point as well. Empowering, that's what I'm going for! We may be single, but we rock.

And I will totally be whining at you week after week, if I end up committing myself to doing this. which, I do quite want to do. But... me and finishing stuff? Erk.

[tacittype.livejournal.com]

And it is NOT autobiographical. IT'S NOT. But it keeps popping onto the page in 1st person. Is that a deal-breaker for you in published fic, or just fanfic? Inquiring minds want to know.

[deltacephei.livejournal.com]

Awww!! Dex is so cute! Thanks! He really helps! *g*

Hey, whine at me all you want, and I'll vow to kick your ass until you finish! Deal?

The POV is a deal breaker for me, actually. If I open a book at the store and it's 1st person POV throughout, there's a 90 percent chance I'm not going to buy it. (I have NO IDEA where this aversion comes from.)

But that's just me, anyway. And it wouldn't keep me from wanting to beta it!

[tacittype.livejournal.com]

Ass kicking will be very much required! ♥

(Dex is not that little and cute anymore - he's a 20 kilo brute! Ok... he's still a bit cute.)