tacit: (Default)
Because I think it's cool, here is (blurry) evidence of a birthday cake I made at the weekend. It took all of Saturday to make, and various households in the Nottingham/Derby area are still eating it, but it did look pretty good. You can't really tell how excessive it was from the pictures - it was about 30cm (a foot) tall, and even had icing ivy growing up the side of the house. Those little dyed marshmallow bushes had perfectly formed icing flowers on them. The roof was a victoria sponge with chocolate icing, and the walls were coffee cake with butter-coffee mortar, and between them they used a mammoth twelve eggs. Is was like Extreme Cakemaking, the sport.

I need a job.

And, because I know that at least [livejournal.com profile] dodificus finds stories of My Tragic Lovelife deeply amusing, I will share with you the latest.

I went off boys for a while after several excruciating first dates, but then met a guy (at a funeral!) a few months ago who reaffirmed to me that there are some nice, normal, single men out there, even if good chemistry is a bit more hit-and-miss. So, I rejoined my old standby match.com and have had email conversations with a few potentials - no bad first dates yet, because none of them were appealing enough to subject myself to that nonsense. And then I discovered that PWP guy was back on the market.

First off, let me reassert the opinion that he is absolutely gorgeous. Also, funny and kind and cuddly and smiley. I do not know what I was thinking when I let it fizzle out. He'd just come out of a long term relationship and I'd been single forever, so we were out of synch and he was reboundy. I do tend to freak out when I get a new guy - either my entire future happiness rests on the perfect construction of the next text message, or I am bewildered by not being single... or both - so we were a bit out of step at times. But, gorgeous! Wonderful! He even called me on my shit, once, which I appreciated - I'd gone from total!floozy to too!cool!to!text and he eventually sent a late night text going 'WTF?!' But in a good way that totally fixed my dumb behaviour. ♥ At lonely, life-hating times, he's The One That Got Away, who I kick myself over. And he's back on the market! \o/

I spent an embarrassingly long while constructing an email to him yesterday - light, breezy, non stalkerish; while in reality I was not feeling light or breezy, and very much stalkerish. I agonised to [livejournal.com profile] deltacephei and [livejournal.com profile] naye about what to say. The mail is still up in a tab, waiting for me to read it over with the distance of a day or two before I decide send/not.

BUT HE EMAILED ME FIRST!!! He wants to know if I'm up for a drink! I no longer care that we have very little in common. I'm gonna meet up with him asap.

I am keyboard mashing over a 3 line email.

\o/ !!! &hearts

Yes, it will blatantly all go pathetically wrong. But this part? Is FUN!
tacit: (team love)
Last night I went on a date with Funeral Guy a friend of my cousins'.

It was such a great date! I like him a lot and am already eagerly awaiting my next date with him - usually at this point with guys I get a bit 'Yeah... but really?' But he's easy to talk to, and a lot of fun, and attentive and sweet. And clever and playful... he's pretty ideal, really. And we've got a lot in common - we grew up in the same town and went he went to the boys' version of my school, and, obviously, he knows my cousins really well and was perfectly willing to give me loads of truly excellent gossip about their exes and babies and feuds.

I may rewrite history later to say that it wasn't really our first date, because I did end up being a dirty, dirty stop out - in his hotel room, which is just so classy. (Although we did get breakfast in bed that neither of us had to go and make, which I could definitely get used to.) But I'm not sure I'd rather say that I met him at funeral. Or that I met him for the first time at my cousin's wedding when I was 18 and he was married.  Hmm. He hasn't told my cousins yet and neither have I, and I told him it was his call - he sees them more and knows them better.

But there is a point to this post! (Beyond me going 'LOOK! A MAN! EEEE!' which is pretty much my default today). His favourite TV show? Smallville. HE'S A GEEK! This makes me so happy. He claims it's not about Lana (he thinks she's a whining pain in the arse as well, he has taste!) or Chloe, he just likes the Superman stuff. I asked him whether he ever suspected Clark and Lex were doing it, and he apparently never did. So, who's got vid recs of Clark and Lex eye-fucking? Something that convinces the viewer they are totally doing it, or at least that they wish they were. Perhaps not one of the genre that starts 'given that they're blatantly shagging, don't y'all think x/y/z?' I want one that subtly re-edits canon, not one that tells an entirely different story. Apparently it was on last night and he missed it cos he was out with me, and he'll miss it again next Wednesday because I intend to go see him again that night. I'm going to put the two eps on a memory stick, with a vid or two in there too. I'm going to introduce him slowly to my geekish ways.

Speaking of geekery, I am obsessed with a new show! It's all [livejournal.com profile] deltacepheiand [livejournal.com profile] naye's fault. Move over SGA, Torchwood's got me hooked. I am so in love with Jack and Ianto, and Jack/Ianto. This LJ may see fannish content again after all...
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I don't usually post about my dates, because there's only so many times I can write OMG SO BAD before I want to spork myself. But tonight? You'll like this.

First date. We went to a cheapish restaurant. Conversation was a real struggle - he didn't pick up any of my conversational salvos and didn't offer any of his own. He'd answer open-ended questions with things like 'hmmm'. Maybe he's shy, I don't know. I also no longer care. The bill came, and it was £31.45. I put down £20, because I'd had dessert and he hadn't, and I figured that was about right . He studied the bill for a really long time, and then fished through some change and put down £11. So, it was 45p short. I waited a moment, expecting him to add to it, but no. I had to fish my wallet out of my bag again to fix it.


I was so surprised I actually laughed out loud. And then I made my excuses, and I left.
tacit: (Default)
I just emailed an ex to suggest a drink sometime. He's completely gorgeous but we had nothing in common. Bad idea? y/n

Have also emailed four other guys from various dating sites, hopefully consigning myself to the bus problem - that several will come along at once. I figure it's like being unemployed and sending out job applications - no sense in just going for one at a time, right?

It's possible I've cracked. This is how bad first dates happen! Bad, self.

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This year's been a bit hit-and-miss, but I think on balance the hits have it. So, yey me!

Fic )

Work )

Health )

Romance )

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Excellent weekend.

Four thousand bricks in, and we're up to the roof on the extension - and still no help from any professionals. Yey!

First date Friday. Second date Saturday. Sex. Woot!


Housemates called me on my satisfied smile this afternoon after Gorgeous Hunk of Sex left. I claimed it was boy related. It was: John and Rodney. So much love!

(Yes, I am astounded by my priotities. But I've known Atlantis longer, there's been more time to get attached. Right? Right.)
tacit: (Default)
So, it's been a slightly random week.

  • Housemate JJ started a new job designing tractor parts at his Dream Company - his eight year old brother is practically frothing at the mouth with excitement, and JJ's only a bit more grown up. C and I made him a cake when he heard he'd got it the picture's come out a bit orange - the tractor was bright yellow. Those rear treads are curly wurlys and the exhaust is liqourice. It was made to a tight two hour deadline, and took us more than a week to eat. Also, we were out of unsalted butter so I put lard in the icing. Shhh!

  • I decided to go to Barcelona for a fortnight from next weekend - C and JJ are going to Turkey so I'd be home alone and bored if I didn't arrange something. I'm going to do a week of Spanish classes with the aim of boosting myself into the third year evening class - I've dropped out of the second year twice and am not sure I want to learn the first (gusta) term's (gusta) syllabus (gusta) again. Me no gusta.
  • I sprained my elbow. Seriously, who does that? It was my own damned fault, obviously - I was chasing C (it was all perfectly reasonable and constitutes a valid form of conflict resolution) and there was an incident involved my hand around her ankle, her lunging around a corner, and my arm not quite following. Well. Parts of it did.
  • I shovelled two tonnes of hard core from one end of the workhouse to the other. Left handed. Three more to go. Oy.
  • I got a text from the long distance relationship guy from this spring. I really don't get the point of this text. It was basically just hi, are you single. To which I basically replied, yes, still single. And then he didn't reply. So, because I believe he's a genuinely nice guy who isn't just asking to snort and laugh about my extended singleness... what the hell does he want? Not conversation, not a booty call... what's left? Idle curiousity? Hmph. He could at least share what's going on with him.

Courses of bricks laid (mostly in the rain):

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meterZokutou word meter
15 / 58

And we're concreting the downstairs floors this week! No more mud! Yey!
tacit: (Default)
Have joined facebook, and have discovered that seemingly half of my year from school are on it - am back in touch with close friends from my teens, and am really pleased about it! Hurrah for the Internet. Am not a huge fan of facebook itself - seriously, how did it catch on?!? Isn't it basically email, but public?! But some of my happiest times were at that school, and I don't think I've been as secure in my identity since. It was a weird, weird school, but we were a close bunch. Is fun to be back in cheerful, mocking contact with fellow weirdos. Insta-friends!

Not much progress on promised drabbles today, have been keeping myself pretty busy and feel pretty good. After a couple of hours enumerating all the ways in which ex-man was neurotic and irritating, I feel much better.

Wow, am coming across as a bit unhinged, aren't I? It's just that I got so caught up in the idea of having a boyfriend that I overlooked all the things about this particular guy that were actually quite annoying. There's a small sense of relief mixed in with the pissyness over getting dumped (dumped!) and the depression over not having a love life anymore. Ok, so the relief is small in comparison to the singleness, but I'm fixating on the positives.
tacit: (Default)
Who's got recs to make me feel better? Housemates have been telling me things they didn't like about Ex Man in attempt to cheer me up, which isn't really helping because I feel the urge to defend him. Am working up to righteous anger from baseline slump of going-to-die-alone.

Alternatively, somebody give me a prompt and I'll write a brief McShep. We don't need to know each other, don't be shy!

Also, no pressure but am feeling a bit rejected, tiny flist 'o mine... distraction would be nice! Dearth of comments would be depressing.
Like I said. No pressure.
tacit: (Default)
I was right to be worried - have just been dumped.

Not yet left room to find housemate to hug. Am miserable and in tears.

tacit: (Default)
It left one account and never arrived at the other. The bank are on the case, so I'm oddly zen-like. Possibly because the numbers are too big for my puny brain. It feels very strange to utter the words 'it'll turn up' in this situation.


In other news, New Man is on holiday with his dad, and I'm taking the lack of texting very personally. It's entirely possible his phone just isn't receiving my messages - C's didn't when she was in Germany last month. But when I saw him on Friday night (my birthday) he was shattered and just wanted to sleep - I've only been seeing him a few weeks, what the hell? I've never shared a bed with a guy where he's been the one that just wants to cuddle up and go to sleep. Have become completely paranoid and insecure. Is this normal?

Am far more concerned about lovelife than large pile of cash that's disappeared into the Great Internet Ether.

My priorities are strange.
tacit: (Default)
So, today is my last day of being 24 - tomorrow I hit the quarter century. For a change, I actually feel okay about it. I usually get in a snit and irritate everyone by alternating between Yey, presents! and Boo, Where-Is-My-Life-Going-I-Need-A-New-Plan all day.

My theory on this is that it's not the age that bothers me, it's whether I feel like I'm where I should be given my <irony> advanced age </irony>. And this year I feel pretty good. I have a business, a house, housemates I adore, a new boyfriend who doesn't yet appear to be insane and/or evil.

tacit: (Default)
I've had a pretty cool couple of weeks, lately.

Things that rock:

  • I have a New Man. Haven't been in a relationship since... second year? Considering I graduated in '05, that's just pathetic. New man is funny and sweet and adorable, and apparently keen. He keeps giving me chocolate. I'm having of the sex!
  • The new house should be ours by the end of the month - meaning I will have some direction in my life and will have no choice but to start working a lot, stop playing on The poxy Sims all the blimmin time. Is also first step to becoming a millionnaire by thirty.
  • Am officially a size 10! Have been steadily losing weight since I started my new, not-behind-a-desk career. That's a US 6, I think. Am thin! My waist is tiny, though my arse is still enormous. It's all fine by me.
Things that are bugging me:

  • New Man lives an hour and a half away. My carbon footprint is starting to suck. And he works all the time. I haven't seen him since Thursday, and I won't see him again until this Saturday. He's a teacher though, and it's almost the Easter holidays (right?) so should soon get him to myself. What kind of crazy school makes the kids come in on a Saturday morning? And why would anyone volunteer to do quite so many extra-curricular things? Is refereeing football in a blizzard fun in some way? Is it unreasonable and controlling of me to hope he dials it back a bit next term?
  • Haven't written a word since [personal profile] amireal's last challenge. Can't think of McShep romance when I'm busy obsessing about my own.
  • Umm.... that's it. That is actually all that sucks. I mean, I'm still broke, and my brother still doesn't reply to my messages, my current house still isn't finished, and I'm still incredibly lazy and unmotivated... but these things have been persisting for years. Who cares? Have New Man!
tacit: (Default)
I met a guy named Matt on match.com. I should have called off meeting him when I received a text tht included the following sentence:

"Recorded a song about what I know of you so far last night. Not the best thing I've ever done but I tried! First song in the world to mention plastering and re-wiring? I'm mad."

To which I replied that yes, he was completely mad, and that actually I found that level of interest a bit unnerving BEFORE THE FIRST DATE. Yeesh.

I spoke to him on the phone a couple of days later and again, he was slightly scary - he wanted to know how I felt about marriage and long term relationships and children, and he wanted to let me know (repeatedly) that he was very much up for those things and the sooner the better. I am, too - but at this early stage I'd rather discuss movies or the dumb things we did that day.

I suppose I brought the disasterous date on myself by not reading these subtle signs of insanity... I got off the phone feeling slightly hysterical, but recounting the conversation provided so much entertainment to my poor, mockery-starved housemates that I figured I'd meet up with him anyway. And the pictures on his profile were really attractive, so I convinced myself that keen and eager to commit weren't actually the end of the world.

However, those pictures must have been several years out of date if the decline in hair coverage is anything to go by. I was totally unable to get him to calm down about the Big Issues while we were out. I did get a nice free dinner, but conversation was excruciating to the point where I almost got the giggles. At him, unfortunately. He complained about the bar being too loud and then the restaurant being too quiet, the weather being too cold, his day at work apparently sucked (which I heard about in great length - does he think we're already married?!?) the food portions were too small... I ran off to the loos twice to vent at C and our houseguest the Random American. I tried to bond with him, but he didn't laugh any of the times I tried to lighten the mood, and not being at least vaguely amused by my jokes is a deal breaker.

So, anyway, after the embarrassing part where he lent in and I stepped backwards (learn to read the signs, boys! Honestly!) I went and met C and the Random American Houseguest in town, and Matt presumably went home to compose me a sonnet. He sent several stalkery texts over the weekend and I sent him a message yesterday saying that we were in different places in life (Me: reality. Him: the place where 13 year old girls go to cry) and we shouldn't pursue anything. I got the following text in response:

"Thanks for letting me know. I am disappointed because I could have fallen for you :-( I wanted to talk in a lot more depth to understand you emotionally but it didn't seem to work (was hoping to do that today :-) We never really scratched the surface there. I was worried that you might struggle to ever see me! I want to put a girl at the centre of my world and realise you are pretty busy. All the best to you, too - you'll make some guy really happy. xxx"

I met this guy ONCE. Shudders

Maybe this Internet dating thing was a bad idea.

On the up side, I finally saw Atlantis 314 and am feeling so much love. Who needs a boyfriend? I have Atlantis.
tacit: (Default)
I had a date with a nice guy called Ollie tonight. Several points:

1) It is midnight and I have been home for two hours
2) I came home alone
3) I came home hungry
4) I came home sober.

Now, the entertaining part. I just received the following text message:

'I really enjoyed 2nite thanx it felt very natural n relaxed. I thought you were smart n attractive (u sure ur single? Lol). What did u think 2it?'

C thinks Ollie sounds quite sweet but is taking some upsetting liberties with the english language. JJ thinks it's a standard text that Ollie sends out to all his women. JJ also suggested I have been ruined for all other men by JJ's astonishing superpower-level sexyness. (This morning, in a bleary moment on the sofa, he picked up C's foot and carried out an entire conversation into it as if it was a phone and the person on the other end was deaf. Take me, take me now.)

The date was excruciating.

I think that either Ollie's delusional, or I am. We were clearly not experiencing the same reality.

Upsettingly, a good looking guy was at the next table over Ollie's shoulder. He noticed my (apparently obvious!) first date horror and smiled sympathetically at me several times, distracting me throughout. He clearly found it all very amusing. I should have been out with that guy.


tacit: (Default)

August 2013

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